People do not have superhuman powers. So why do we think coaches, teammates, family, and friends can read our minds?
One of the best practical pieces of advice on performance success is to communicate. Communicate with the people around you about your needs, feelings, ideas, etc.
How do you like other people to deal with you the day of competition? The night before competition? At the competition? After practice? During practice? We all have different ways we like to be approached and dealt with. Step 1 may involve figuring out how you like to be handled. Step 2 then is communicating this message to the people around you.
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You will need to be corrected sometimes. People will not always agree with you either. How do you like to be corrected? How would you like criticism and disagreement framed toward you? Do you like direct, blunt critique or would you prefer it framed more positively? You must know your own sensitivities. Do you have any words or phrases that your parents or coaches use that you just cannot stand? Do not wait for them to say it, talk to them about it in advance.
It may seem obvious that you can perform at your best if you create an empowering and positive environment that suites your individual needs. We must not be afraid to communicate our needs to the people who will be in close contact during the season and at our competitions.
The people around us are not mind readers. They use strategies that have worked on them and strategies that have worked for them on others. But, we cannot expect them to know exactly what best suites us. This makes communication crucial. We all like to be dealt with in different ways. And it is crucial we learn to express ourselves to those around us.
There is a productive way to communicate with people- truthful and tactful. We must express ourselves honestly and with regard to the other person’s feelings and viewpoints. We should do it at the right time- in private- not in the middle of a practice or an argument. And we should speak in a positive tone without yelling. While we communicate, the last thing we want to do is trigger a defensive reaction from the other person.
It may be difficult for a young adult to express him or herself to an adult, parent, coach, or friend. But this is a very mature action and one that will almost certainly be more than worth the minor awkwardness or embarrassment you may feel. If you are looking to be successful, you will barrel through anything and take action to improve.
Lastly, we cannot expect that people will always listen to us when we share how we feel. Our job is to communicate openly, honestly, and with tact. Their agreement and their reaction is on them. Do not be disappointed or angry if the person does not react exactly how you want them to. (Do you know how they like to be dealt with? This further illustrates my point).
Gene Zannetti
Peak Performance Specialist
One-on-One Consultation and Motivational Speaking
(908) 337-6143
genezannetti@gmail.com
Visit My Blog- http://genezannetti.blogspot.com/
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